Sunday, December 21, 2008

The Audacity of Cats


Mrrrr Friends,

Happy holidays of all stripes to all of you. It’s been cat-years since I’ve blogged, and I know some of you are eager to know what mischief I’ve been up to! There are tails to tell...

But first things first. Some of you who have followed my thoughtful antics through my blogs alone have asked for an explanation of my absence from the human blogosphere.

Bottom line is that I had to stand up on all fours and help you humans get your political act together. You might remember, early in 2008, I endorsed Mr. Obama….President-elect Obama to you. Some suggested that it was simply because I am a proud, furry, black man…but this oversimplifies and, in case you didn’t notice, the President-elect is not furry by any account. I had done my human research and then weighed the important cat-relevant qualities of all the candidates…the choice was clear to me. At the risk of some strife in my own human household, I stuck to my catvictions.

Soon after my announcement, I was contacted by a highly placed canine field operative working for the Obama campaign. The opportunity to serve was too compelling to pass up. Over the next weeks and months, I drafted a team of cat organizers drawn from every state in the Union. In the end, I think our efforts made a real difference.

In the final months prior to the election, I was the senior feline field organizer for the campaign. My work simply overwhelmed my ability to continue blogging and gave me a few new white hairs.

Your mind is racing, I know, trying to imagine how a cat was going to appeal to humans on political issues. Would we go door to door? Did you miss some meowing YouTube video?

Step back and think. When a cat sleeps on a lap or comes up and gently pads up someone’s sweater, purring along, it relaxes them, sets them in a nice mood and prepares them for the transfer of reinforcing messages. Usually we stick to the simple stuff: “feed the cat,” “buy more lamb,” “organic catnip,” or “rips on the chair - what rips?” But this time, in an unprecedented show of sanity, over 60 million U.S.-based cats, and many abroad living with U.S. citizens, actively transmitted political messages to their humans. The canine field team also did an impressive job: drooling, fetching, and doing that sad-eyed stare thing that dogs do - all with a human political message. (Unfortunately, a suprising number of dogs turn out to be Republicans...very disappointing, but what can you expect from a bunch of stick chasing, leg lifting followers?)

The old guy with the white hair didn’t really have a chance.

In the aftermath, the elation of such a concerted effort, many of us wondered whether this amazing catharmony would continue. The rest of the story is a bit ugly. Strife began in the cat camp soon after the election results were in. How would we now wield our newfound influence? On what issues should cats, united, hone in? You know how humans say, "it's like herding cats?"

There was an instantaneous clash of ideas: whether to prioritize cat health care and the quality of tinned cat foods, or work to curtail pesticide use on lawns and carpets, or encourage creation of human laws limiting dog harassment of cats, or focus efforts on supporting our wild feline colleagues and their habitats, or baby seals…the list went on. Things were getting disorganized and many cats were shifting back to their mysterious, idiosyncratic ways. When Mr. Obama announced the planned appointment of a dog for Malia and Natasha, the cat party was over. (This decision fueled claims that many of the President-elect's choices leaned to the conservative.)

Several of my colleagues pointed out that since Malia is allergic to pet hair, a hairless cat in the White House could produce negative press. But let’s face it…it’s been a long time since a cat was in the White House…. It was time to move on.

I decided to step back from the debate. We cats had achieved our stated goal and it was truly an awesome thing to be part of such an historic and committed moment for cats in the U.S. I made some great new pals too.

So I’m back home full time. Taking it easy. Catching up on sleep and yard work, smell monitoring, bird watching, light chipmunk harassment… I admit, shifting gears is hard so, as a way of easing myself out of political life, I rented the complete West Wing series for my people and we’re watching it by the fire every night. It’s a pleasant reminder of the last time we had a president who spoke in full sentences!