I was born in Wisconsin. I love a good snow pack, rutabaga rolling, and The Pack - that's the Green Bay Packers to you. That shouldn't be a surprise.
It's true, generally I eschew violence, even in sport, but the finesse, strategy and teamwork of human football is intriguing for a cat, to say the least.
I tried out for the team once. I wanted to be the Center. You know, handing the ball off to Brett Favre and then confounding the defensive line with my furry presence: climbing up their legs, swatting at their helmets, clinging to their jerseys, all in defense of my QB.
I strolled onto Nitschke Field for practice one day in 2005 to try out. There was quite a debate about my presence. They were worried I would not be able to get the pigskin between my hind legs. I had an alternative worked out, though, and so we gave it a try.
It was a short-lived moment - but exhilarating. And, in hindsight, I should of seen the possibility.
I went to snap the ball to Brett. I felt myself being sucked backward into a vacuum and leaned into the warm human hands behind me that would take the ball. I coiled myself tightly ready to spring forward to tackle the oncoming defenders.
Suddenly, it happened...I found myself spinning gently, headfirst through the air. In retrospect, Favre noted that the "ball" felt oddly furry and warm that day. He didn't think anything of it during the play, after noting that his feline center might need to groom more.
It was a 40-yard pass. Long enough for a young man cat to really gain a new pawspective on his life and goals. The spinning stopped after a while, thankfully, and I found myself gaining ground on the number 80. I would be in good hands...
There was a moment of sheer terror in Donald Driver's eyes as he realized a large black Wisconsin Snowcat was hurtling toward him. Our eyes connected and he saw my need.
I just want to say, Driver has awesome hands. Thank goodness. He caught me, tucked me into the crook of his left arm and ran like the wind. It was just practice, but it was a touchdown play.
I thought my tryout was an amazing success. But there was a man dressed like a black and white stripy cat who noted that the pigskin was still on the scrimmage line. In all the excitement, no one had noticed except this unimaginative guy.
Brett told me afterwards, that he thought it was a touchdown. That was right after he told me I wasn't really NFL material.
But I'm still a Packers fan.
Go Pack.
